The Mighty Pirate

Two More Weeks...

Fri, 01 May 2009 22:50:53 GMT

Hooray! Two Weeks Left!

That is all I have left of college...for now. (I have thought of going for a Masters, possibly a doctorate specifically focusing on Medieval Lit. For now though, I need a break.)

After years of being sick off and on, years of burn out, and work getting in the way--I am nearly there. I can't quite do a dance of joy yet, but I am close...so close. I haven't thought yet of what I would like to do when that blessed day arives, but there will be joy. Oh yes there will be joy. I'll give some thought and prayer as to just what I'd like to do that day. I'm not big on flashy events, a get together would be cool, maybe a cookout, I dunno. I don't really want the focus to be on me, just an excuse to get together and hang with friends and eat some good food. Definetly need prayer on this one.

I have sooooooo much work to do over these next few weeks, but I wanted to take a mini-break to say/write that I got a warm feeling of contentment just thinking about graduation today. I don't want to forget that the goal is within reach, and I just need to keep working hard, praying like crazy, and taking little breaks (like this one) for sanity.

So, me, consider this a little pick me up. I'll remember that I wrote it, and re-read about how glad I felt today. That will be one of the little boosts that gets me through the madness that these last two weeks look to be.

P.S. (If I had to guess, I would say he's going to pick Diane Wood. Totally unrelated to the thoughts above. Sometimes I get an inkling of what is going to happen politically, and I am going to venture a guess here. If I am wrong, cool. Some one I usually read, and has pretty spot on guesses/insights into the appointments has narrowed it down to three. I am guessing one of those three. We'll see if my own guess proves correct in the slightest.)

Disappointed in myself. (watchmen)

Sun, 08 Mar 2009 05:22:59 GMT

I thought that I would make a quick post to remind myself to look more thoroughly into films. I went to a matinee of the Watchmmen today with Suz. First off it was dumb to try going out for so long because of how much it aches to sit up.

Next, the movie insulted a lot of things that I believe in politcally. It made rude insinuations about faith. And I was embarrassed to take my wife to a movie with such graphic sex and violence.

I am disappointed in me for having gone. Don't forget this Derek. Time for a vicodin.

Fun with the middle?

Sun, 01 Mar 2009 08:40:50 GMT

So it is fast approaching. That most difficult point of all books to write, the middle. At least that in my limited experience is what I have felt. I wish that I could say it,"Happens every time." And that this was my fifth or sixth time that I was on, but hey let me count my blessings, because I was just thinking that I might have fun with the middle of my books now. Kinda shock to me.

I guess it happened thanks in large part to Suz's commments and suggestions on how to write this female preteen in the 'Masters' book. Not only did I really like the suggestions, but it gave me great ideas on where to put little plot details and points while also developing characters. As I was making notes and doing a bit of plot outlining, I realized that I had enough not only to get me through some more difficult parts of the middle, but it also helped me to see it in a different light. And that is the biggest blessing of all. Really, I want writing the whole thing to be enjoyable in some way. I know that it will get to be hard work, not just with the editing, but that there will be parts that are genuinely going to need more effort than I might feel capable of producing with out the flogging materials handy. However, I know that if I don't find even the smallest thing to enjoy about the middle then it will stink to write and be even worse to read. By no means do I see this as an absolute end, but I think it has put me on the path to it.

On the whole, the writing has been slow this week. It seems like I am taking one or two vicodin a day lately, and that ain't good. I am going to call up my doctor this week. I hate being so incapcitated. I go from being in pain to feeling woozy, sleepy, and so lethargic that I can barely remember the stuff that I am trying to work on for school. It's kept me from enjoying the beautiful weather from anywhere other then the bedroom window. Blah. They say not to operate heavy machinery while under the influence, but man oh man I can't be trusted with simple things like a bread knife sometimes when I am on the pain meds. There was a point where I think Suz made me dinner because not only was I doped up, but I was losing track of what I was doing in the kitchen in the first place. Yeesh, I hate it when meds screw me up like that. Speaking of which, I took some more and it is okay to take them now (gotta wait 6 hours between doses), so I am going to sign off now since i am beginning to feel like the computer desk is beginning to spin a little. Night

My Tummy hurts

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 07:33:10 GMT

Just a quick note to say that my tummy hurts. Stupid liver problems. I am sooooo sick and tired of being sick and tired. On the up shot I have taken an LOA from my crummy King Soopers job so that I can focus on school and my writing. The downside is that my liver has been acting up more than usual lately and I end up flat on my back with a heating pad on my tummy when I am not working on school stuff. It sucks.

That aside I do have a little to report on the writing front. I had this sudden inspiration to write a synopsis for House of Many Keys. Wierd thing to get inspired to do, huh? Odd thing is that I got out about 1,000 words before I slowed down. That was different. Usually that stuff is hard, but this seemed really natural. The story has been in my mind lately.

Now I ache too much to write much more. I am going to pop a pain pill now.

Picking classes

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 09:02:38 GMT

My last semester of college at Metro Denver.

What to say, what to think....

I have stuff to do and say, but not so late. I've been mulling stuff over, just have to figure out what to do with what I know.

Thoughts I had today while doing pull down/facing. Mostly Roanoke related.

Sat, 03 Jan 2009 08:28:02 GMT

Can't get more plain than that, huh?

Anyways, what was I thinking? Oh yeah. About Roanoke, I'd like to work on Masters tomorrow, but I definetly had some clear building block thoughts about Roanoke today. I know that the four who should never have entered had to sacrifice something to be allowed passage. I now know that one of them did not want to go, but was forced to. I can think of subtle ways to show this loss, the theft that the one did to the other, and how it accounts for the minotaurs getting to the other world. However I am not quite sure how to show it on the third one. He's going to be a tricky one to figure out. Subtlty is a must of course, but how can I make it obvious to me while keeping it from the reader? Ah well. I am thankful for this insight into how to both logically and fantastically get them into the realms of Roanoke.

Tomorrow I hope to have stuff to report on Masters. I did not think too much about it today. The free mental time I had at work needed to be spent on Roanoke. The idea was too good to pass up.

Ready for the new year.

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 06:42:35 GMT

The post below I have done already in another forum/on facebook. But I like this place and I wanted to update this a little. I've written a bit today. Mostly blogging, but I've enjoyed it and it gets my creative juices flowing. So without further adeiu I cross-post and welcome the new year:

This should be an interesting year. So much to do so much to say, if I might quote the Beatles on this one. I am hoping for a lot this year. Things on the writing front in particular come to mind. I really have high ambitions there. Enough blah blah though somethings to share and that I have been pondering:

-I graduate at the end of this semester. Aside from a generally big Woohoo! that I feel in my heart and the general joy at getting a B.A in Lit. with a minor in semantics, I am unsure where to go from here. I am going to look into just what I can do with it, or if I want more schooling. I still like the idea of teaching, but honestly I hate the thought of going into a Unionized anything.

-How does one escape from retail? I so am done with King Soopers. As happy as I was at the movie theater on occasion (and yes I know that it wasn't all roses) I need good insurance and doesn't insist on stealing away time from me at the drop of a hat. I yearn for a set schedule so I can do some writing. Speaking of which...

-I really need to get going on the writing front. "Strike while the iron is hot!" so to speak. I have heard from a good friend that the type of fiction that I have enjoyed writing is sorely needed in the market place right now, and I don't want to miss the opportunity to get in if there is a possibility. Why let a crummy retail job get in the way of that? (Sometimes the place feels like it steals my time from me.)

I know that this may seem a little rambly, but hey, that is who I am at times. I hope my friends and family memebers don't mind this a bit, sorry if I ate up too much of your time, but thanks for reading if you did.

Done with Chapter 3

Sat, 06 Sep 2008 03:58:32 GMT

Finally...

That's about how I can best put it. It was fustrating really because I knew that once I completed it I might have a chance to gain a bit of momentum on the story front. I don't know if that is quite true still. Mayhap too much time has passed since I first thought that, or maybe I just am tired and need to get that bit of "umph" to get going again. This weekend was suppossed to be the weekend that I went to Chicago for the NAC laser quest tournament, and now it is just a weekend off. But it just might provide me enough time to really get going on the story, at least that is what I hope. I guess that I want to really accomplish something worthwhile with this time off and not just putz it away.

Oh sure, there are plenty of little chores that I could and should do. I will try to work them in. First and foremost though I want to spend some time with Suz. It has been like she was out of town for a week with all the DNC overtime that she had to put in. I think that things are finally settling down though. So, anyways, second to spending time with Suz is the time I want spend writing. I guess that the more I enter into this little blog the more I think that maybe I will have a chance to get some major writing done.

Here goes....

Too long since last time.

Tue, 05 Aug 2008 18:58:48 GMT

A few days is too long since my last post. I need to step it up...A lot. That being said, I did some writing today. I had to put it in the notebook today, the apt is a bit of a mess and it is hard for me to concentrate when it gets this discombobulated.

Anyways, I got four pages worth which in long hand equates to somewhere between 500-750 words. A decent pull all-in-all. I think that the gallery scene is going a bit too long and will eventually need tightening, but I am satisfied with how it is shaping up and that it is not a series of quick fixes to get to the next scene. I feel like I am getting a bit of my old school skills back in doing this particular scene as well. I know that it has a bit too much description, and that there are certain interactions that can be said in a more "crisp" manner, but nothing feels either rushed or over long. It is beginning to feel like a real first draft. This may sound a bit odd, but in truth I think that one of my biggest problems while writing "House of Many Keys" was a sense of urgency mixed with slogging. I would mentally slog through a scene, not knowing how or when to end it, but then simply out of fustration sometimes ending a scene abruptly simply to get to the one that I knew would be more fun. Hoping and praying now that once I am finished that I can take this with me from "Masters of Music" to "The House of Many Keys" edits. I am still working on those, ever so slowly. I really want to finish "Masters" first though.

I know that some writing advice I have purused through migh wish to claim that I have fallen in love with a new work and fallen out of love with my first one. I can't express how untrue this is. I have so many reminders of "House of Many Keys"--from the Jester's hat and mask to the totally awesome flag that Suz made me--that I feel like it is on par with an upcoming birthday party. I get a nice big present when I am done with what I am working on now, but what I am working on now is also fufilling. "Masters" feels like it not only is teaching me the lessons that I need to learn to better fix "House," but is also helping me to find my old voice that once was mine. I can only describe it like a rhythm--maybe all this music stuff is getting to me. I can more easily recognize not only when a problem has arisen with the story, but also when the story needs to have a slight dynamic change to help with the story telling. I think before both the story and the need to self-edit was so present that it would trip me up whenever I got going even a little. It is crippling in a way, the desire to edit, the realization that maybe a scene needs a minor tweek here and there to get it to its best level. I could sit there obsessing for what felt like hours over the most minor of problems, then not have the energy to solve even the most basic of problems with a scene a few moments later from the one I just fixed.

As Doug Fields would say, some things to think about. Well, gotta go back to the chores.

Hurry it up already!

Wed, 30 Jul 2008 08:51:25 GMT

Yoicks!

So, although my friend and I wanted to finish our books (or at least the first three chapters done and edited a bit) before the start of the school year, it looks as if that won't happen. Not unless we both really buckle down soon. Problem is that so much will come our way over the next week that we both might not meet our goal =-(. I know that we will both try, but it will only get more difficult. Oh yeah, and eventually I should post a brief blog about our vacation. Anyways, on to the info about writing:

I completed 3 pages today. All hand written of course. I really need to get into the habit of using the comp, but there is so much work to do in the second bedroom that I need to have a "mobile" version of the story. Anywho, I really need to wrap up this scene that is taking place. It gives a bit of exposition in a way that I think works to explain certain necessary details without being too-too obvious. I will need to tweak it later to tone down the exposition a bit more, but really it works for now. I also realized in the process that I really need to chop the scene down as it progressess, but do so in a way that doesn't feel too abrupt either. My main character in this scene really has a chance to both stand up for himself, but still come across as a nice guy, but I know that if too much more happens or piles up in this scene that it will feel unweildy. I hope that tomorrow I will get a better idea of what to do to wrap up the bit. Hardest part is knowing that the fun part are around the corner, but not wanting to have to go through the "work" of getting there. It is like re-reading "The Hobbit" I know what scenes I like best in that book, but I also know that if I don't go through the slower stuff that I won't enjoy the rest of the book as much. ( I know that I am not as great a writer as Tolkien, and truth be told I like all of "The Hobbit" it is my favorite book, easily.) Anywho, some work done, but lots to go.

Also I am a bit nervous about a doctor's appointment that I have tomorrow.

Night for now.

More Later

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 21:12:03 GMT

Suz is typing in my hand written stuff tonight. I am going to then set up the little word count thingy on the bottom of my blogs so that I can track where abouts I am. I think that the story when complete will be between 70-80K, that is just a guess off the top of my head. I plan on shooting for that length, hope I can do it.

I did do some more writing today as well, and I plan on doing more tonight when I get home from work. I'll delve a little more into things when I get back and have written some more.

TTFN.

The Gallery of Time

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 08:14:44 GMT

Still not sure if I like that name, but it seems to fit. Today I was working on a scene where the main character wonders around a circular room with a high domed ceiling made of glass. The room has paintings positioned around it that describe the past, present, and future of the land he is in and I liked how the little scene was going until I needed to come up with a name for it. I am a bit obsessed with naming things properly. Its not just the description, or the use of simile or metaphor, but the actual name that it is called. Sometimes I just figure it out or am suddenly inspired, other times it takes a bit of thought. It causes a bit of a stumbling block, and in this case it was my stopping point, mainly because I used a bit too much the 'ol creative energy on just trying to come up with a half-way decent name for the place.

Ah well, at least I know where to pick up from when I get up tomorrow. I really need to get this all typed up so that I have a clearer picture as to where I am in my book. Not to mention that I need to get the House of Keys edits/rewrites typed in as well. So much to do. So much to write.

Long Day of Blah

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 06:58:50 GMT

Yeesh,

So, I thought that I would get a chance to do some writing, yet things were so off kilter that nothing seemed to go really right. First off, I didn't sleep well, I had two dreams, and they were more along nightmares. The same one that I always have, but I won't get into that now. Anywho, I didn't get that much sleep. I was already a bit wound up because Suz had an interview today. It didn't go as well as hoped though =-(. From what she says, there was an odd disconnect between her and the interviewer, so she thinks that her and him would not have worked for training. I hope that she does get the job though, and she has said that she would take it if offered, just she is a bit unsure. I hope that it pans out better than expected, but that is just how I always am.

Anways, I went over to visit my grandma for what I thought was going to be a brief/non-extended visit in the hospital. She was on the path to being discharged today, and she should have been out by 2:00pm at the latest, but things just kept going slightly wrong. The nurses removed her pick line (an i.v. that helps with getting stuff in quicker I guess) and because she is on blood thinners, it bled more than was good. That took an hour to resolve. Then they wanted to see at what level she tolerated being off the oxygen, to see if she needed it at home. But because the nurse who was suppossed to monitor the thing got called away, my grandma spent over a half and hour with out the aid of additional oxygen, and her oxygen levels dipped waaaaaay too low. So not only did they need to do stuff to help her get back up in the safe range, but they also needed to restart her tolerance test. Just terrific let me tell you. I would have left sooner, but not only would I felt like a heel for just taking off, but I felt that my mom needed company and someone to both help her calm down a bit when something went squiffy with my grandma, but also to help listen to what the various nurses were saying for the home care treatment. All in all, my visit that I thought would only last an hour, maybe an hour and a half winded up keeping me there until a little after 4:00p.m. =-p

*Sigh* So I got home, spent time with Suz, had dinner, went to Laser Quest team practice. This normally is a bit of both exercise and fun. Instead, it was blah. The normal management was not there, so we had a new guy. We had our games and times booked more than a week ago, in fact, we pretty much have the specific times that we wanted blocked off months ago. Instead of giving us the times we had reserved though, the new guy kept pushing us back and sending in walk-in business in ahead of us. Yeesh. We only played 4 of the 6 practices we meant to, around 8:30 the guy asked us if we would mind waiting until 9:00p.m. to do our last two games, both combined would have been less time than a game run for the public. That's when we asked for our cash back. I guess that the captain is going to talk to managment about it tomorrow. Whoop-De-Doo.

Now it is late. I spent a little more time with Suz when I got home. Did some laundry (needed towels for a shower), made Suz's lunch, had late snack so could take meds, and then got online. Overall, a really blah day. I kept looking at my story and wanted to write, but felt so tired, mentally. I just couldn't focus. Recounting my day is no big deal. But I just start to feel hopeless when I sit and stare at a blank page just feebly trying to eek out even a paragraph. I feel like I can't do it, the writing that is, at times like that. I just make myself put down the pen and say, "Whatever sadness and certainty that you feel tonight is only temporary. You are tired, but if you wait until tomorrow, you will not feel this way at all. And honestly, most times that is totally true. I've got to be ready to write tomorrow. I let it slip today, but that's got to stop now.

The Rule of 2 to 3

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 19:25:07 GMT

Wow,

long time no write. I will try to improve that. I've made accessing this site a bit easier for me so I don't forget my password or user name, so hopefully that will encourage me to do more blogging/journaling here.

Anywho. I am happy to say that I have spent sometime writing today and I made a bit of a personal discovery. I think that when I crack down on my writing and force myself to change something that is going on in the story every two to three pages it makes me write a bit better. Not to say that long conversation has no place and that there must be constant action. Just that if the conversation circles the same topic for too long or if the characters are walking or traveling somewhere and nothing is really going on, it will lose my readers attention. Another qualifier, not that I think all kids have ADD or should be encouraged to have an expectation of certain "umph." Just that if I honestly evaluate myself I have to say that some passages of mine take too long to get to the main point or to the pertinent info. Plotting and exposition need to take place gracefully, not like a trumping elephant crashing along or like a turtle meandering towards the finish. I don't think that my writing lacks grace, but when it lags or goes too quick, a person (and myself) can really tell. I need to fix that.

So I am instituting this "Rule of Three" in my writing from here out. I need to try to write at least 3 pages a day minimum, and those two pages need to do something for the story. It may hurt to get them squeezed out, but those two pages--if that is all I get--need to have been worth writing. I don't expect them to be perfect or in no need of editing, just that they need to do what I meant them to. I need to be as interested in my book as if I were reading some one else's work for the first time. I think that a 3 page minimum is what I need to do.

On being sick

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 18:33:22 GMT

So,

I got to visit the hospital, again. I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired. I got out of school this past Thursday and felt ill. I had to go immiediately to work, so my wife picked me up and dropped me off. Actually, she hung around a bit to see how things would progress for me, and they didn't. I tried everything to stay too. Asked to work U-scan, Popped some pepto, Suz got me water and peppermint tea to sip--and still I threw up.

They let me go from work, not without some grumbling from my "favorite" scheduling manager though. I think that he thought that I was faking it or something. Anyways, Suz took me to an Urgent Care center. We both hoped that it was just a stomach flu or something, but they took my temp and it was at 102.2 and I was feeling worse then when I left work. After the nurse took my vitals, a doctor came in, looked at me for what I swear was no more then a minute, two tops. Then told me that what I really needed was an ER room. Soooo, Suz drove me to the Rose Medical center which was a little over a half an hour away. (My regular doctor is right there). So, when we get in there and I get checked in, they take my temp and record it as between 103 and 104 (they got different readings whenever they checked). Start stage one of "the pincushion phase" Whereby all manner of nurse and orderly make it there job to strap you to a bed and see how many holes and how much fluid they can inject and drain from you at the same time. It's like they want to cause you as much physical discomfort as possible before they move you up to a room, just to make sure that you really need them to treat you. Yeesh.

Well, unfortunately, it does not end with my being a human pin cushion. My regular doctor was out of town. So I get this guy who comes in and starts asking the usual uncomfortable medical history questions. Normally, this doesn't bug me as much. I mean, the guy is there to help, right? Only, this guy seems to have an edge to him that I am not particularly fond of. It's like when ever I try to tell him something--whether it is about my billroubin (something to do with the liver found out via blood test) or how yellow my skin gets--he doesn't believe me. There was unconcealed skepticism written all over his face! Errgh! To top it off, he starts spouting off a bunch of medical junk that I have never heard before. Now, I want to make it clear that I am pretty up to date on my own condition, and have pretty good grasp on what the lingo associated with it is. But the guy goes off and starts saying things that leave me feeling more then a bit lost. Ends this all with asking if I have ever had a liver-biopsy. He's convinced that my problems aren't really related to the prior problems--despite the mountains of evidence. And what does he go on to justify this? Since he can't get a hold of my doctor's records on me, he goes from what they have at the ER room from my past two visits which--low and behold--show elevated liver levels! I mean granted, the guy was only going with what he had to work with, but I would like to think that he would at least acknowledge that he might be a bit off base with his diagnosis, not having full access to my medical history and all...

Geez, I come in with something that I've had before and the guy is quite ready to start tossing around the idea of a liver transplant ( how I wish I was kidding on this. Nothing to go on, not even lab results, and he's talking about transplants :-O ) Needless to say, his bed side manner needs a bit of fine tuning.

After a day, the doctor comes in (same one) to the room that I have been placed. Tells me that the CAT scan of my tummy that they did shows that I have a minor bit of blockage, but if they aggressively treat it with antibiotics, I should be okay. Then exits (or tried to exit, I had to get my wife to stop him so that I could ask a few questions like "How long will I be here" and "what caused this"). Well, sufficed to say, my weekend went by in a haze of family visiting, drug injections and blood tests. wonderous! =-p

Ahh well. At least I am home again. Able to do some recouping in the comfort of my own apartment. I'll write more later, but for now. I need a little rest.

My Uncle's Medical Woes

Wed, 22 Nov 2006 09:51:47 GMT

Okay,
so here is the situation. My uncle Rick has cancer in his bones and now it is moving into his liver. The doctors have given him some chemo medicine that helps to keep it in check to a degree, bit also makes him queesy so he doesn't eat. As a result of this medicine, he has lost nearly 40 pounds in the past month, and he is still losing weight. He was a little overweight, so it wasn't a problem before really now. However, now it is really eating away at him. He is sickly, doesn't eat much, and is getting weaker. He applied, on his doctor's reccomendation, for these special medical shots which have worked well for others. His insurance denied the claim, he applied to the state, they said it wasn't worth the money. Now his doctor's have told him that he should take his woes to the News outlets nearby so as to embarass the state and his insurance into giving him the medicine that he needs. The problem is, he doesn't want to, he's worried that the insurance will take away his medicine that he currently has if he causes any waves. My grandma thinks that he should do it, others have told him that he should, but he just doesn't want to, and doesn't want others to do stuff on his behalf.

I guess I am in a bit of quandry here. God's given us the opportunity to make our own decisions in life, both good and bad. We learn from both of them. I think that decisions about you're health can get really sticky though. What if you decide that you don't want to fight for better health? You might say that it is your decision to make, but on the other hand, I think that a person has an obligation to others. He has an obligation to daughter, to his step-son, to my grandmother (his mother). His daughter is being kept in the dark about how badly he is doing. My grandmother is totally torn up inside, sometimes on the verge of tears. My cousin/his stepson, I'm not sure how he is feeling about the whole thing. My mom and my Aunt are both sad, and depressive over it, and the fact that he won't really fight for his own health. (I won't go into the his ex-wife's position, it's too sickening to really even think about).I almost think that he has an obligation to the rest of his family to do something. It just doesn't seem to click with me for him not to seek as much help and action as possible. Calling the actions, or inactions in this case, of a family member who is direly ill a little selfish or not whimpy does not help matters--but I really wish that some one would lay it out a little more plainly for him that he has got to do what is necessary to get the treatment he needs. Everyone seems too afraid of offending or hurting feelings or causing strife, but some strife and difficult times now isn't anything compared to the heart ache and pain that will happen later if something isn't done now. I guess that I think of what happened with my grandpa last year about this time. Action has to be taken, research and leg work done-- but everyone seems to resigned to letting things remain as they are. It just flabbergasts me that there are possibilities that could help my Uncle out, but he isn't considering them.
I had hard decisions to make with my own health. For years I had something called Ulcerative Colitis. I could take all the medicine I wanted for it to keep the worse symptoms; such as jaundice, severe stomach aches, nausea, constant need for bathroom; under control. However, I was told by the doctors that after I got into my twenties, I would have to undergo yearly colonoscopies to make sure that my illness hadn't turned to colon cancer. I was told that my options were either get a colonoscoply a year, until I showed signs of developing something, which may or may not happen at all--or undergo a few surgeries to make sure that my colon was removed, and thus my life expectancy increased. (Not to mention no more of that colonoscopy nonsense). The thought of sugery scared me, but I didn't want to have to come in every year for a check-up to see if I had gotten something worse. Also, I know that it had to have been costing my parents everytime that I had one. Furthermore, I knew that my family and friends would hate it if I got really sick, rather then taking care of myself. So I did what had to be done. I know that it may sound weird, but part of my decision to have the sugery, was because I felt that I owed it to others.
I dunno, I guess that I wish that I could intervene in some way, tell my thoughts to this uncle, or at least get some of these thoughts to him. But, I guess that I am not any better. I just don't how I would bring it up or where to start. I fear estranging my aunt and grandmother. Ergh, I just don't know what to do or say. I wish that I had the right words to say and the ability to say them, but I guess I am just to worried about what would happen if I did. I need to think some more about this, but there you have it. I just wish things were a bit simpler...

Guilty Conscience

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 21:30:41 GMT

So,
a friend of mine checked out the quiz, then I found out that it was through a site like "Maxim" that men's magazine. I was a bit shocked. I had clicked on the link via a chat in a discussion forum. Only through the friend did I find out that the site has racey stuff on it as well. I thought that the mario graphic proudly displaying the "Nintendo Geek" banner was pretty cool, but it isn't worth compromising on my morals by providing a link to a racey site. I apologize for that. I'll post again later....

Much Joy in the Land

Fri, 20 Oct 2006 18:02:59 GMT

I am done with my book! Done Done Done =) !

Actually, I was done several days ago, but just haven't had a chance to post up that I was done. I think though that such monumental event deserves mention on my blog/live journal. It feels good to be done. Suzanne, made up this cool banner that has the words congratulations and "The House of Many Key by Derek Stone" on it. It was pretty cool. =-)

So now that I am done, I have the edits to look forward to...icky. But that's not all that I have to look forward to--there's TOT! Tournament of Terror laser quest tournament. =-) I am so glad to be going to this. This was my final prize for finishing up the book. I was a little worried that I placed so much thought on it as well as finishing up the book, but then realized that I wasn't just thinking of the prize itself, but why I would get that prize. The book, a book that I finally knew how to do it from start to finish had come to me, and I was losing my focus.

I think that with my next book I'll have to make sure that I finsih it up not only within the time limit, but that if I do go over the time limit, that it does not keep getting back burnered, so to speak. I think that also pulled away from me getting it done as quickly as I could have. I didn't want to screw things up in my classes, but I really wanted to finish my book. I was doing well at class (still am actually) but wasn't spending as much creative energy as I wanted on my book. Well, the lesson is learned that the book has to be finished, even if it cuts into school time. The book is done though. =-)

I guess that I just like saying that. The edits might be tough, but I welcome the edits of my own book more then I have any other edits before. (funny, isn't it?)

Enough is Enough

Tue, 03 Oct 2006 08:00:46 GMT

I posted this in another place, but I thought that I should post it here as well. This will hopefully be the last time I post about the American Literature class and below follows why:

I got my test back today in American Literature. I got a mid C, and I am only surprised that I managed to do so well, given the inumerable things that went wrong with the test. To those of you unfamiliar with this class and the test in question here is a breif overview:

The test: Little to no review given on test material; teacher squeezes in more new material right before test rather then answer questions about past material; test itself poorly formatted (Blank spaces to be used for identification don't line up properly with supposed corresponding passages); test length on par with final exams that I've taken; poor wording of several questions resulting in numerous stops by teacher to explain what she "really was getting at" in certain sections; purposefully misleading questions that need several minutes of disection to allow for actual meaning to filter through (she would call these sections needing careful reading); test handed out 7 minutes before class is supposed to begin, yet half class still not finished when time is called.

The Teacher: Says that her tests aren't that hard despite what her past students may have said; Any and all students that cannot focus during test (i.e. asked questions about the way she worded things) or were getting stressed (because of test length) are victims of test anxiety and need to seek consouling--she knows that this happens because she has sent people there many times (yeah, she actually said this); spent the first ten minutes of class after handing out results of test ripping into students telling us we need to re-examine why we're thinking of becoming teachers if we don't like what we're reading and if you dislike some of the material you have no business being a teacher; complaining about her tests to another student is in no way helpful and you really need to talk to her if you wish to make real academic progress.

My thoughts: Her tests are poorly constructed and students have been telling her this for years, yet she continually ignores it. If a person gets upset or really annoyed at the format of the test and lack of review she offers prior to the test, she writes them off as having 'test anxiety' thereby allowing her to put detractors into a category of "mentally unfit" people. If you dislike her selections of literature from the text (which itself has problems), then you need to rethink becoming an English Literature teacher.

Yet even these reasons are not as weighty to me in why I plan on dropping the class. Two simple statements/opinions of hers have sealed it for me. Here below is what she said almost word for word.

The first: "The author isn't saying that people who read the Bible are wrong or evil, he's simply realized that these people are not that well educated". She then launched into a fairly anti-Christian tangent that offended me deeply. This led me most of the way to my decision. Lets say I was 70% ready to withdraw from the class at this point, but part of me was wanting to tough it out and show resolve.

The second: "Until you have a degree really, you don't have the grounds or right to share your opinion with others." Followed by a mini-rant on why only after getting scholarly training should anyone be allowed to engage in opinionated discussion.

Bottom Line: I can take the class next semester. I can get an A in the class next time I take it. I have three other classes that don't eat up nearly as much time as this one. I am learning nothing from the class except her opinions. And most importantly, I have a book to finish writing and the time I waste with this class learning nothing could be better spent creating new and exciting adventures for my characters.

Case Closed, time to move on.

Worst Professor Award?

Thu, 21 Sep 2006 05:38:01 GMT

My apologies,
but yes, this is yet another rant about that teacher that I have for American Literature. Let me sweep under the rug any thoughts one might have about this being about her rudeness and offensiveness. Teachers expouse their opinions all the time. Yes, I was sorely upset by what she had done before in regards to calling people who read the Bible stupid, but I thought--I honestly thought that was the limits of her awfulness.

I was wrong, so very, very wrong.

Since the start of the semester she has been telling us (the class) to not believe what other people who have had her before say about her tests. She demeaned the complainers of old simply brushing them aside as people who "didn't study" or "weren't able to read carefully". So, as the semester progressed, I took it for granted that her tests were liable to be hard, probably the hardest tests that I would take this semseter. Hard does not cover it. Short answer, true or false, identification, and a short essay all played a role. Now, this is fairly typical, and I was expecting this, but to be on the safe side lest she pick out the most obscurest of quotes, I poured over the material this past weekend. I even crammed the night before, staying up until all hours (I admit I was studying for another test as well, but that one not as hard as it was an open note test) to prepare. Although review did help me for the basics, it in no way prepared me for "her test".

Her conduct was utterly ridiculous, and I don't mean the spell from Harry Potter. Problems started from the get go. I got there roughly twenty minutes early. Class is supposed to start at 8:30 I walk in just after 8:10. She come in at 8:22/23 and begins to take roll and talk about how there is no talking during the test, that we need to clear our desks and get ready. 8:25 she hands out the test, then marks about three people late for coming in right then. Wasn't me, but I thought it was wrong for her to do that, the only gain is that I think on test day I need to get up even earlier to make sure that I am a minimum of half an hour early for her tests. The test it self was a debacle. 5 pages long! I've had finals that were shorter. Each question requires rougly a minimum of 2 paragraphs to answer everything that she is asking. Including the true/false section. No simple T or F here. If you marked it false, you had to give evidence of why it was false both of the author and his ideas. This is only a glimpse though. At least half the class, and no I am not exaggerating, went up to her with some question or another. This was distracting for two reasons: first, the teacher talks loud, so it is hard to focus when she answers a question; second several times she had to make a "brief interruption" to explain what she meant by her questions on the test. Whatever minor relief I felt in knowing that I wasn't the only one having problems figuring out what the heck she was asking, was quickly swallowed up by the fact that I was running out of time. The prof tried to make it a simple matter of "do the essay problems first" in her defense of the test, the problem was that they were ALL essay questions! There was of course, heavy weighting on the essay portion (which by the way was such a deep analysis question that I would have expected it either in a final or a take home essay. Not to mention the fact that she said she would "prefer if we didn't use author's she quoted from the test for our essay" problem is that she didn't really leave much choice in that matter.

But I digress. The big problem with just trying to do the essay questions (that is the insanely long ones, not just the ridiculously long ones), is that her "do the bigger point questions first" thing falls completely apart when you realize that the sum total of the supposedly non essay questions is worth roughly half the grade on the test. Just doing half the test took almost then entire hour and fifteeen minutes we had to take this monstrosity. So basically, you get to work yourself silly just to get half credit for certain, then you have to work like mad to either get through the other portion with some points or not.

Now on to technical problems. It printed out funny so that the blanks that we were supposed to use for certain sections weren't properly aligned with other sections. Not to mention the occasional blank line that wasn't meant as a fill in the blank, but just happened to be an accidental reprint of the "your name here" blank on the first page. One of her interruptions was to tell us that yes, despite the way it looked on the test, it was required that we fill out the test answers in the proper blanks or she can't be expected to know that we were just guessing or completely off with out answers and analysis. That cost me about ten minutes of fixing so that my right answers would line up correctly. She makes the misake, the students have to pick up the slack. I spent several minutes, probably more then I realized so we'll say ten, trying to decipher her questions. I finally had to give up and ask her what she menat on a certain question. This was in addition to the other times in which she interrupted the class to tell them what corrections to make to the test. Roughly twenty minutes of my test time was wasted just trying to wade through the technical problems (this includes the redoing of stuff). There were also questions that were meant to trip you up and ones that were intentionally mis-leading so as to make sure you were reading carefully. I hate it when a teacher does that. Its like "Oh ha ha, look, I fooled them now I get to fail them". I don't know if they really think that, but it wouldn't really surprise me in this lady's case.
It rolls around to 9:45 sooner then expected, I am only on the beginning ofpoint two of the major essay portion that is supposed to have three major points when she calls time. I felt minor relief again when I realized that about half the class (maybe more) was still there frantically writing. The prof started to get a bit rude about it saying that we had to pack in it and just turn in whatever we managed to have. Totally condescending. Half the class is still scrambling through the test and she's got the nerve to act upset at US?!?! Minor, and final bit of relief/"Ah good, I wasn't alone" about the test came later that day when another person in that class who happens to be in my last class of the day was talking to other people (who also happened to have been in that class) about how insane she thought the test was and how she felt so ill prepared, despite the studying.

I guess that is the bottom line for me on this too. I studied so hard for it. I knew that it was going to be a major uphill battle to do well. But I thought that I was ready for any question that might come my way. I didn't expect though for the way the test was conceived to screw me over so much though. Knowing all the allusions, similies, and imagery in the world; and knowing all the characters and their actions helped. It was a shame that the only thing that I appear to have learned from this experience is not what I need to study more, but how to get ready for her tests.

A few upshots in this day though. First, I am pretty sure that I Aced my other test that I had that day. Second, the test I took on Monday was graded and I Aced that. Those were both great, but I am soo sleepy still, and have work for an online class to do. I spent sooooo much time getting ready for that stupid test, and I am certain that I failed it. My apologies again for so much ranting. I don't want to come across as a snob. I just didn't feel like I was challanged at all mentally, just more like a machine set up in a way.

To put it blatantly as possible, I do not think that she deserves her Doctorate, or at the very least needs to do some serious re-evaluation of how she conducts tests.

Again, sorry for the continuous ranting.

It's still only September!

Tue, 19 Sep 2006 05:38:31 GMT

So, today is a major arrrrrgh day for me. Why you may ask? After all, the test I took in my History of the English Language class went really well. In fact I am fairly sure that I got an A. This would normally be such a positive that it overcomes all that may have preceeded it. In fact, it was nice that it came at the end of the day because it ended the day on a rather good note. Boy oh boy though did the day start off in the super-ultra-mega-bad kinda way.....

So, first off, I was really tired from having stayed up late studying for the aforementioned test. So, when my alarm went off, I decided to snooze it--Suzanne said that she would give me ride to the light-rail station. So I snooze it, but when we get up and try to leave, we can't find her wallet. So I end up driving over to the station to try to find a temporary parking spot in the three hour zone so that poor Suz can walk to it later. Not a one was open, Suz calls me as I am about to head to another, farther away free parking when she calls and lets me know that she knows where her wallet is, and that I should just come back so that she can drive me. So there we are, early morning rush hour, both cranky, but the possiblity of getting to class before it starts is within reach.

I got there two minutes late. Now, with other classes that I have had, if you walk in while roll is still being taken, or in this case the sign up sheet is going around, its not a big deal, the teacher is barley settled in themselves. I dunno what I was thinking though. I'd already established that this my teacher starts class five minutes early and counts half an absence if you come in after her. Which is where the fustration begins. Two minutes late, she's already done the reader response for the day, and has started launching into how the class is going to wrap up its talks on Du Bois. I come in and she stops talking, and as I pass by I see her marking on a sheet my name under a little line that says "LATE!!!" and she glares at me as I sit down before she re-launches into her discussion. I would have felt worse if it weren't for the fact another student came in after me and she did the exact same thing to her. Again, this is only two minutes past when the CLOCK ON THE WALL says class was supposed to have started. A half and abscence wouldn't even be that bad, except that she gives four then fails you. This is done even though the rest of the school has a 6 absence policy. I can't tell you how badly I need that sometimes considering how sick I get. Like last week for example. So, its only september, I still have two and a half months of this class to go, and already two absences are gone (one for being sick, two halves for "tardiness"). So, okay, two of them are my fault. But at the same time she readily admits that she is a morning person and doesn't really have any sympathy for people who can't get up in the morning. (This all done while she gives out this stupid low, laugh that I think she means to imply "oh haha, look at me just being like that). This is not where it stops though.

She goes on to remind us that she is giving a test on Wednesday and talks about how other students who have had her over the years may claim that her tests are impossible and that her questions aren't that well written, but she assures us that they really aren't that bad and that they are not nearly as bad as everyone makes out. They just need to learn to study more. More derisive deep laughter. My thought is "okay, so everyone has been telling you for years now that your tests are too hard and poorly written, but you say its their fault? Ooookaaaaay then, blind much?

And yes, my apologies, but it doesn't end their. The guy we're reading about writes like a socialist. In fact, in later life, he joined the communist party. Fine, jim dandy, whatever. The teacher wants to wax on about how brilliant she thinks he is, fine, jim dandy, whatever. She can have her opinion, I'll disagree with it, but hey, I won't sit there grinding my teeth any more about it. I've come to expect it at this school. What really got me was two things. First, I have this strong sense of justice, and when I feel that someone has been wronged, I get angry. So, this girl in the class points out how she can see the guy's socialist leanings in the text, and says that she can see why the guy later joined the Communist party. The teacher fairly started to yell at her. "I THINK THAT PERHAPS SOME OF YOU NEED TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SOCIALISM AND COMMUNISM!" Then proceeds to launch into what the two are, all the while throwing in hints about how great they are as systems. The girl says that she can still see how his philosophy was leaning that way in his writings and before she can say much more the teacher talks as loud as possible, without yelling, to drown the girl out and put down her thoughts. Personally, I thought the girl was dead on with her assesment, but prof made it evident that different views were not to be tolerated. This gets me wrankled, but there is no good way to really turn and say, to this person, "hey, I agree with you, and the teacher was rude just then for practically shouting over you." And yes, it does not end here either.

While I'm sitting there just wishing that the class would be over, taking the occasional note. Someone in the class asks why the author of this other text thinks that those who read the Bible are evil. I thought that I was ready for anything, but boy oh boy was I wrong. Teacher response? "Well, you see what the author realizes here isn't simply that people who read and believe the Bible are necessarily evil, they're just not that well educated. I think we can agree on that, right?" I was ready to leave then and there. Or at least respond with something like, "So, my wife who holds a BA in computer Science and Physics isn't that well educated? My father who holds a minor in business and major in theater production (meaning he's read much of the same stuff that I have to) isn't well educated? My aunt, who holds a degree in mathmatics, isn't well educated? Or me, who only holds an Associates, but is well on his way to a English BA isn't well educated?" I hate it when teachers make these kind of flippant, vapid remarks. They are exactly the type of thing that gets me so ticked off! The professor holds them up not as "these are my views, take it or leave it" but as "These are my views, and they will be your views too or you will fail". I'll see how the test/quiz goes on Wednesday, but Suzanne is already telling me that I should consider being prepared to drop the class. I reeeeeealy don't want to though, what if this woman is the only one teaching it? I don't want to have to through this all again! But if I'm late one more time it might be the safer option than allowing this certifiable dark side-witch fail me. I'm already thinking that may happen. I bet she rides a clean-sweep to school.

Okay, I'm mostly done.

I was so ready to just not let stuff bug me this semester. I've already let so much go without mention. My person politics, my thoughts on the war on terror, my anti-gun control thoughts, and more I've just said to myself ,"Hey, not worth my time talking about it right now. I just want to get through the class, not get into arguements. Maybe some other time there will be a chance for discussion. Just want to get done. The degree just shows how much I could BS (Barbra Streisand) the teacher anyway. But I cannot let my faith just sit there and be trod on. I just wish I knew what to say and do. ::SIGH:: Well, I have homework to finish and a children's book to finish up. No time right now to keep going off about this. WOW. I think that this may be the longest blog to date. Hmmm. Eh, oh well. So I don't end on a bad note I would like to mention that I have the same professor for my Nature of Language and History of the English language class. He's pretty cool and seems happy to answer questions. Plus I think its funny that whenever he talks about phonetic transcription he says "Well, I bet if you were to shove an ocilloscope in most people's face it would sound like _____". His answer always seems to be to shove an ocilloscope at it. he he he. Oh well, I need to go now.

My apologies for this reeeeeeealy long blog.

Muppets?

Sun, 10 Sep 2006 06:24:38 GMT

Okay,

what better place then my live journal to talk about the crazy weird dream that I had last night. So there I was, with Suzanne and all my friends. We're all about 6 years younger, maybe just out of high school. When I say all my friends, I mean ALL. People I knew from the Starport theater, people from El Toro high school (like Kaycee and the Savala twins), Jeremy, Holly, some of the laser quest people and so forth. What are we all doing? Were making this movie, a muppet movie to be exact. We're all muppet opperators, and for some odd reason, I've been given the role of Robin (that nephew of kermit's). I've got this long monologue for some reason, and I can't remember my lines. Everyone's looking at me in this really disappointed way, all their eyes seem to say "come on Derek, you can do this, what's up?" Even the frog muppet that I'm using looks at me and waits for me to get it right. I didn't cause the thing to look at me, it did this on its own. That doesn't freak me out, I'm too busy feeling like I've let everyone down big time. Then what happens next really should have freaked me out. Jim Henson comes around from some sort of stage platform thing that he was watching the movie filming from!

So what's he do? He starts lecturing me on memorizing my lines and not getting freaked out in front of audiences. Tells me that I am letting him down for not taking the time to get my part down solid. Meanwhile, I'm starting to feel like crying because this former hero of mine has just taken me to task for getting stage fright. I started to apologize and he just waved me off telling me to do better next time and he called for some one to bring me a script to read from. I tried to apologize again, hoping for a chance to do things right--then I woke up.

I was a little bummed that I didn't get that second shot. I also gotta wonder whose bright idea it was to give me such a big part in the first place? Eh well. At least I got to have a dream that will stand out in my mind for years to come.

Crocodile Hunter

Tue, 05 Sep 2006 07:31:12 GMT

So, even more time than I intended has passed since my last entry. Blah! I am getting so terrible at this. Not because I don't care, but I guess I keep waiting for these witty, intelligent, inspiring posts to come out. But they don't. Also, I'm a little annoyed at myself, because this will mark the second time in a row that I've posted just to post about being sad. Ergh, bad me!

So, in case you couldn't already guess, I am posting this about the recent death of Steve Irwin "The Crocodile Hunter". I guess I thought that I had to say something because of how cool I thought that the guy was. I usually am not that into the conservation movement and such, but the guy had such an...abnormal passion for crocodiles that I just couldn't help but think a little bit more about it then I might have otherwise done. Probably because the guy didn't take the usual, "humans suck, if everyone on earth were dead, the animals and plants would be better off", that I typically see in people who talk about wildlife conservation.

Anyways, I thought that I'd breifly share my memory of when I first saw his show.
So there I was, at a friends house while we waited for the rest of our teammates to show up. (This was for a Laser Quest team that I play with, anyways...). So this guy picks up a t.v. remote and starts doing a bit of channel surfing. He stops on animal planet and says, "Hey guys, you have to check this dude out! He's totally crazy, but it's funny as heck to watch". I'm sitting there thinking, "yeah right! This is animal planet, the one with boring zoologists who sit around talking about saving the rainforest". He insists that we all watch it just for a bit. So, those of us who are around gather to behold the spectacle that was Steve Irwin, alias the crocodile hunter. Man oh man. When my friend said the guy was nuts, he wasn't kidding. Getting feet from a kimodo dragon, grabbing snakes by the tail, and of course--the real crowd pleaser--wrestling a crocodile.

So, I became a bit of a minor fan of his and the show. I still laugh at the reruns of him running around saying stuff like "crikey!" and "take a look at this beauty" (of course in reference to crocs). I think that I may have even introduced my family to the guy's show the same way that it was introduced to me. "Hey, I know animal planet is kinda boring and all, but you have got to check this guy's show out". I wouldn't be surprised if that's how he got so popular.

Anyways, I know that it may seem silly and weird to blab on about the show and him and such, but I am a bit sad about it. The guy left behind a wife and two kids (both kids still in single digits). Not to mention the fact that I have always wanted to go to Australia. Not just to see him, but the whole outback as well obviously. So much for getting to meet the guy. ::sigh:: Oh well, not much more to say.

Geez, I've really got to post something a bit more upbeat next time or people will think I'm trying to be like one of those poets that are obsessed with death and depression.
Right! Next time nothing but cupcakes, kittens, and comic books. For now though, I am a bit sad.

Flag Day Blues

Thu, 15 Jun 2006 06:06:21 GMT

I won't beat around the bush. I really miss my grandpa Horne right now. It's his birthday today. I had called him the past couple of years to wish him a happy birthday. This year I called grandma and reminisced a bit. ::Sigh:: It was both nice to talk about him, and depressing not to get to talk to him. Part of me really wishes that my grandma would sue the hospital, or at least do everything in her power to get the doctor who worked on my grandpa license revoked. I found out from my mom just last week that on the medical records for my grandpa it shows a morphine overdose as the reason he had the heart attacks that sent him into that coma. Then I found out that the doctor was trying to say that it was my grandma's fault for pressuring him to much about my grandpa's back ache's. The guy deserves a John Wayne response for that one. A growl and good right hook. Not only does he pretty much kill my grandpa, but ends up telling his wife that it's basically her fault!
Ergh!
If I had three wishes then that doctor would not end up on the better end of some of them.
Sigh.
Happy Birthday Grandpa.

New Job, and other stuff

Thu, 11 May 2006 05:37:36 GMT

Ahh, so here it is.

My long awaited announcement that I have a new job! =) Of course, I've had this new job for about a month now, but I have been so busy with final papers, projects, and studying for finals that I have not had the chance to really update this journal. Now that I am off for a bit from school (at least until the one summer class that I am taking in Jr Adult fiction starts). I hav e a little time to myself. I should really see when the class starts, but hey for now it is time to breath a sigh of relief. Now to really work on the book in earnest. At least that is what I plan to do I would really like to get this computer room organized first so that I can get my desk moved in here so that I have my own little writing space. The thing is, I know that if I wait for that, then I am only being a slacker and cheating myself of writing time. And who needs that? Life has its own distractions without me providing them.

Jeremy and Holly came to town for a few days before they scuttle off to Florida. They were supposed to be here longer, but their car went kooky--this despite the fact that they just had it in. Errgh, I hate having to deal with cars. It seems like they got home okay though. I just wish we could have all hung out a bit more. I miss just relaxing with Jeremy and playing video games, talking about movies, plotting the next village to pillage. Or talking writing with Holly and different styles of writing, and teachers and such. I still get to talk with them on the phone, but I like the in person stuff better. Well, in a little while Jeremy gets to start up at the film school in Florida (I forget the name at the moment). Ultra-cool for him, I hope he likes it. I am a little worried he might get some snot nosed professor who thinks that all movies have to be artsy to be any good. But I am sure that J will like having the opportunity to tell them how wrong they are. I look forward to that.

As for my own stuff...hmmm. I guess that the new job is okay. I mean, no wierdness, no bossess that say one thing, then have actions that belie the fact that they probably loathe you. I spent a bit of time talking to Suz about the comparison between my new job and the old one. Its kinda funny that just being what would be considered the "average joe" position at he theater, I was able to see what policies were terrible, which were harming the company, and what potential policies should have been explored. I suppose that I might have actually done fairly well higher up in the company, but that wasn't going to happen. Plus, I really didn't want that job ever to be my main vocation. Well, all is said and done now. It has been about three months now since I quit the theater, but I think about it still. Well, duh, why wouldn't I, as it was my only job really for nearly ten years. I mean, most days I really don't think about it. I go on my way, studying, thinking up angles for my new book, cleaning the apt, etc. But this doesn't keep it from cropping up in my thoughts once in a while.

Anyways, I should really break right now and get to making Suzanne's lunch. Then of course there is the next raid to plan, the shipments of grog to inventory, and, of course, the lectures series on "A Bucaneer's Guide to The Perfect Pillaging"...sigh...a pirate's work is never done...

P.S. I just found out that I still have this other journal floating around out there, I need to delete it. So if some one out there sees this one (and actually wants to find out more about me), and the other one--you want to read this one. That other one will never be updated other than that one accidental time